There's Literally no way to Move forward!
by VAM-Ninja
Summary: Oh but there is! Join us as we follow the deeds and disasters of the next generation! With action! Pointless Humor! and romance? Is Ron ever going to stop sending Draco abusive fruit platters?
1. Welcome to London!

Moolie: Finally! My dream of having an HP-Fanfic is coming true!

Ginny: I can't believe I'm letting you do this…

Aggie: I can't believe it either, I don't like Harry Potter….

Moolie: Of course you do!

Ginny: Moolie….?

Moolie: Oh, just eat your salad…

Aggie: Ugh…Donald what will we do with her?

*Donald the yellow whale waddles in*

Donald: Haroo!

Aggie: I agree.

*Tackles Moolie*

Ginny: Oh dear, just read...

…..

Chapter One: Welcome to London!

Terry Topperton, the customer attendant of Platform Nine, was having a simply smashing day. Yes, just last night he had been awarded King's Cross Station's Employee of the Year, for the fifth year in a row. This morning, his lovely wife had woken him with a tea tray piled with a scrumptious array of breakfast goodies. He had arrived a work on time as usual and had already helped two more passengers than his rival, Benjamin Bingsley from Platform Ten. Nothing could ruin his day...

"Excuse me." said a voice behind him. An accented voice. Terry cringed. _An American...just when his day was going so well._

He turned to find the most bizarre looking child he had ever seen. She looked about eleven years old, with round, green tinted sunglasses and a mess of straggly brown hair poking out from under a purple bandana.

But perhaps most bizarre were the object she was carrying. With one hand she was struggling to pull an odd old trunk and in the other she carried a brown bag lunch and what appeared to be a twitching piece of half eaten carpet. As Terry peered closer he realized that it was a cat. A demented, senile, possessed looking cat that was eyeing his socks with an eerie stare.

"Yes?" he asked warily.

"That guy over there said you'd be able to help me." the girl said swinging the zombie cat in the direction of Platform Ten. Terry glared over to see Benjamin Bingsley give him a smug wave. That prat always sent him the crazy ones.

"What can I do for you?" He asked through gritted teeth. "Do you need help finding your mummy and daddy?"

"Nah," the girl waved away the gesture. "My mom's across the ocean and my dad's pushing daisies. I was wondering if you could help me find Platform Nine and Three Quarters."

That was the last straw for Terry. Benjamin had played this prank on him too many times.

"You are the fifty-third kid to ask me that!" He cried in fury. "You can go over to that...that prick!" he motioned at Benjamin. "And tell him that I will not stand for trickery! I refuse to believe that Platform Nine and Three Quarters exists!"

"But sir please!" The girl dropped her lunch and her cat and began to search in her pockets. "Please, I have a letter from this school called Hogwarts!" Taking out a wad of paper, she began to unfold it. Terry was already stalking over to Platform Ten to give Benjamin Bingsley a piece of his mind. Nobody noticed the demented old cat crouching in the corner as it stared menacingly at Terry's socks.

The girl was tugging on Terry's sleeve.

"Its a school for wizards and-and...Sir! Please wait! A bird gave it to me!"

Then Terry gave out a shout of surprise. The demon cat had latched onto his foot and was clawing at his brand new socks.

"No! Captain America stop it!" The girl shrieked. "I told you not to take people's socks!"

By the time the girl had detached her ferocious feline, not only had Captain America torn half of Terry's left pants leg and scuffed his freshly shined shoes, but Benjamin Bingsley had assisted seven passengers on his platform _and_ at least five on Terry's.

"I'm sorry! He gets very excited by footwear." The girl apologized.

But Terry had stomped off leaving her alone on the platform with still no idea of where she was supposed to be going. She sat sadly on her trunk with Captain America beside her and picked up her lunch.  
"Well," she said, taking out a slightly squashed BLT. "we screwed up."

Captain America just looked at her and twitched. The girl sighed and looked at the letter in her hands. She was about to delve into some deep sentimental thoughts when a woman's voice echoed behind her, causing her to jump.

"Hugo! Stop dragging your feet!"

"Yeah Hugo, you you don't want to be late to see everyone else off to Hogwarts."

The girl turned around; she was interested now.

The family walking towards her was in a hurry. Well, kind of...

The mother, a pretty woman with uncontrollable curly brown hair, was walking briskly at the head of the group, taking hurried glances behind her to make sure the rest of them were still following. Behind her, a girl who looked about eleven with bushy red-auburn hair struggled to keep up. The poor thing looked quite worried. Behind the little girl were her brothers, the younger one with ginger hair was the spitting image of his father who strolled casually behind the group. On either side of the ginger boy, two older boys walked almost as perfect reflections of each other. They were identical, from their tall lanky strides to their mischievous expressions to their wildly curly brown hair. They seemed to be giving their little brother a hard time.

"Come on now Hugo, we'll try not to have too much fun."

"And if we do, we'll write to you and let you know all about what you're missing!"

"Jackson! Do not tease your brother!" their mother called behind her.

"Geez mum, can't you tell I'm Jack?"

"You may be the smartest witch of the century but you still can't tell us apart mother."

"Agh, I don't have time for this! We're running late!"

"Mum, we're exactly thirty-eight minutes ahead of schedule."

"Ronald help please!"

"Boys, listen to your mother."

The ginger boy spotted the girl in the purple bandana looking at them. She quickly turned away.

"Hey! There's a girl over there with a Hogwarts trunk!"

The twins looked up.

"She looks lost."

"She looks homeless."

"I think she likes you Hugo."

"Shut up." Hugo said, looking purposefully at his shoes. The twins carried on.

"Weird cat though."

"Yeah, see how its looking at us? I think it likes you too Hugo, see how its-"

That's when the girl realized that Captain America was no longer beside her.

"OH MERLIN'S PANTS!"

"Hugo! Where did you learn that language?"

The girl turned to see Hugo hopping on one foot while desperately shaking the other in a attempt to detach Captain America.

"The homeless girl's cat attacked him!" the twins cried in unison.

At this the girl stood up angrily, walked over to the family, pulled Captain America off of a stunned Hugo, and turned to glare at the twins.

"I'm **not** homeless." she said crossly.  
The twins looked shocked and then guilty. The girls walked quickly back to her trunk and sat on it with as much dignity as she could muster.

A few seconds later she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see the twins looking down at her.

"Hey we didn't mean it." one said.

"Yeah, we were only joking." the other said.

Their sister appeared behind them and kicked them in the shins. They glared at her in unison, sighed in unison, and turned back.

"What we mean to say is that we're sorry." they droned together.

Their sister sat next to the girl on the suitcase. "We can help you though, are you lost?"

"Yeah," the girl said weakly, "Do you know how get to...?"

"Platform Nine and Three Quarters?" asked the mother, she smiled. "Right this way."

"I'm Rose," the girl with the auburn hair said as she stood up. "Rose Weasley. Are you American?"

"Yep!" said the American as she hopped to her feet, eager to have a new friend. "My name's Effie Clemens. The Effie is short for something, but I don't like it so its just Effie. And this..." she said hoisting her cat up by its tail. "Is Captain America."

Captain America and Rose stared at each other for a moment.

He twitched.

"He likes you!" Effie exclaimed in delight.

"I have a pet too!" Rose said brightly. The two girls ran to join the other Weasleys and Rose pointed to a barn owl sleeping in it's cage. "That's Smellycakes! He's a really nice owl, even though he's blind and he farts all the time."

"He was a bloody good deal." her dad muttered. He grinned at Effie and held out his hand. "I'm Ron Weasley, Rosie's Dad, nice to meet you."

Effie shook hands with him.

"I'm Hugo." said the ginger boy. "I got you a trolley for your trunk." He blushed a little and looked at his feet.

"Alright everyone!" Rose's mother said. "We're going to do this-"

"In a safe and orderly fashion!" The twins interrupted.

"Please keep all valuables and body parts,"

"With you at all times."

"Otherwise they will be confiscated or worse."

"They'll be-"

"Oh hush up!" their mother said. She turned to Effie and smiled. "Hello dear, I'm Rose's mum Hermione. Is this your first year?"

Effie nodded. Rose grinned 'Mine too!' she mouthed.

"Right then, I'm going to need you to run straight at that brick wall." said Mrs. Weasley.

"What?" said Effie. Rose looked at her and nodded. Effie looked at the wall between Platforms Nine and Ten. "Wait, what?"

"Here," said Mrs. Weasley. She began walking fast towards the wall and broke into a run, disappearing before she hit it.

"I'm not sure," Effie said, she looked pale.

"Hey," said Rose. "It'll be alright. We'll do it together!"

**REMEMBER TO TYPE GOING THROUGH THE WALL... ( Moolie: Damn...I knew I forgot something...)**

On the other side of the wall, Platform Nine and Three Quarters bustled with activity. Effie could hardly keep track of all the different shades of robes, the screeching owls and the sound of overbearing parents. Rose waved to her Uncle Percy as he went to go cheerfully badger a third year for not loading his trunk according to regulations. Her Aunt Audry stood with Molly, who was going into third year, and Lucy, who was going into second year. Their little brother Dexter was looking around in awe, his Woody Allen glasses fogging up from the steam of the Hogwarts Express.

"_Salut cherie_!"

Effie turned to see the two most beautiful adolescents she had ever laid eyes on. A tall, slim strawberry blond was embracing Rose as she and her blond brother chattered away in rapid french. How many relatives did Rose have? The ever growing crowd of gingers seemed materialized out of the mist and fill half the platform. Rose struggled through the crowd and started naming them.

"The pretty ones are Louis and Dominique. Their sister, Victoire is around here somewhere. Louis isn't in Hogwarts yet..."

After about ten minutes, Rose had made a little chart on a scrap of parchment as she named her cousins and siblings.

**Not in Hogwarts Yet**

Hugo Weasley (One year below us)

Louis Weasley (Two Years below us)

Dexter Weasley(Two years below us)

**First Years**

Ethel "Effie" Clemens

Rosie Weasley

**Second Years**

Fred Weasley II

Roxanne Weasley

Lucy Weasley

**Third Years**

Jack Weasley  
Mac Weasley

Dominique Weasley

**Fourth Year**  
Molly Weasley

**Seventh Year**

Victoire Weasley

"I don't remember meeting Mac and Jack." said Effie as she glanced over the list.

"Oh, those are my older brothers, Maximilian and Jackson." Rose said. "They're the ones that were rude to you."

"Speaking of which," Two voices chimed in unison. The girls jumped.

"We've been thinking over our grievious actions." Mac said putting his arm over Effie's shoulder.

"Most uncouth of us really. But we plan to make it up to you!" Jack said, ruffling her hair.

"From this point on,"

"We plan to become your honorary, how do the American's say it?"

"I believe the term would be 'Brothers from another mother' if I'm not mistaken."

"We'll make sure no one gets on your bad side."

"And if they do..."

"We'll just have to give them-"

"Give what exactly, Jackson?" A sharp voice cut the air.

The twins flinched as they turned to face an unimpressed Hermione Weasley.

"Nothing, mother dearest." Jack said mournfully.

"Precisely," Mrs. Weasley said as her eyes narrowed. "I will not be happy if I have to receive another owl from school about you two. Is that clear?"

"What if its a good owl?" Mac said hopefully.

"Hell will freeze before that happens." Mrs. Weasley snorted

"So is this everyone?" asked Effie, gazing around the sea of red.

"No, we're still missing the Potters." said Rose, craning her neck to look around. It was pretty hard to distinguish people in the distance through the fog.

"Hey Rosie!" The girls turned to see a boy their age jogging towards them. He had jet black hair and bright green eyes.

"Hey Albus!" Rose grinned, she shoved Effie forward. "I made a friend! She's American!"

"Hello American!" Albus said shaking Effie's hand. "What brings you across the Atlantic?"

"Effie's starting with us in first year!" Rose said. "Are you excited Albus?"

Albus paled a little. He put his hands in pockets and shuffled his feet nervously. "I dunno, maybe its not all its cracked up to be."

"Oh..." Effie said quietly. Albus and Rose looked at her, wondering what realization she had just had. Effie pointed at Albus. "You're a chicken."

Albus turned red and began spluttering excuses as Rose doubled over laughing. She stopped and gave him an odd look.

"Al, where are your glasses? Your mum said-"

"I only need them for reading." He said quickly and went to go greet Rose's parents.

"He's embarrassed," Rose said. "Everyone's always telling him how much he looks like his dad. Al doesn't like all the attention. Especially since James has been teasing him about it."

Rose pointed out Albus' siblings. "The girl's Lily, she'll be in Hugo's year. Aunt Ginny's holding Baby Jude, he's about two months old. James is in second year, he's around here somewhere. Come on."

The girls made their way towards Rose's parents, who were talking with her Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry.

"Hey everyone!" Effie said, then noticed something was wrong with Rose's dad. "What's the matter Mr. Weasley?"

"It looks like the slimy git's been breeding." Mr. Weasley said, glaring into the mist.

They turned to see a tall blond man with a dark coat and a pointed face. Next to him stood a young boy who looked remarkably like his father. Rose thought he might have been handsome had he not worn a miserable expression.

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley said sharply. "What's the matter with you? I thought you'd turned over a new leaf. Especially since you volunteered to bring Draco the 'Welcome' fruit platter I made for him when he joined the ministry."

Mr. Weasley smiled. Yes, he remembered.

(Can't be a fanfiction without a flashback!)

_The corridor of the ministry was quiet that morning as Ron Weasley crept stealthily down the hall. He was humming his own theme music to himself as he did a double take before expertly rolling around the corner. He tiptoed to Malfoy's door, still humming, and placed the fruit platter on the floor in front of it. He stood up and stared at it. Checking to make sure that no one was around, Ron quickly waved his wand over the platter. Humming with renewed vigor, Ron tiptoed away. Later, Draco opened the door to see the fruit platter on top of which Ron had charmed the cantaloupe to read 'SCUMBAG'. _

"Sorry honey," Mr. Weasley smiled at his wife. "Old habits die hard."  
A ways away, Draco was glaring at Ron.  
"The Weasel's been multiplying, as usual." He scoffed.  
"Darling, don't be like that," Asteria pleaded. "We need to get beyond our old disagreements. His wife and I go to Witches' Book Club together. She's a lovely person!"  
"I've been having some suspicions that I'm not the only one with old grudges..." Draco muttered._  
Draco had gotten to work early that morning with the intention of getting some extra paperwork done. It was nice and quiet until he heard some infernal humming outside his door-_  
"Enough of that!" Ron said loudly. He and Hermione had made their way over to the Malfoy's, the ladies were chatting happily.  
"Oh, so I don't even get my own flashback now?" Draco yelled at Ron.  
"No you don't, you scumbag!" Ron bellowed back.  
By now, passers by were starting to stare at the ridiculous scene playing out in the mist of the platform. Both men were glaring at each other. Ron was twitching, trying not to draw his wand. Draco's eyes narrowed.  
"So it _was_ you who sent the fruit platter!" He hissed.  
"Yes!" Ron jeered back. "And I hope you didn't enjoy it!"  
"For your information it was delicious!" Draco roared in fury.  
Rose and Effie watched from a distance.  
"Are they always like this?" Effie asked, quite amused.  
"Our families have been from the beginning of time." Rose said in a mockingly serious tone. The whistle shrieked over the hullabaloo of the station. She turned to Effie. "Let's go find Al, the train's about to leave."

….

Ginny: Well that went better than expected

Moolie: Aggie, get off me!

Aggie: Not until I finish my salad!

Donald: Haroo!

Moolie and Aggie: NO!

*Donald whale-tackles them*

Ginny: …I need a nap.


	2. Treats from the Tranny

Moolie: It's finished!

Aggie: Good, let me proofread it.

Moolie: I already sent it…

Aggie: *Bangs her head on table*

Ginny: We apologize for any of Moolie's horrendous grammatical errors.

Chapter Two: Treats from the Tranny

This was Conductor Amadeus Gloucester's fiftieth embarkation aboard the Hogwarts Express. He looked back at the gift basket that his wife, Clothilde, had bought for the occasion. All his favorites: Darwinkle's Dinner Crackers, Golworth's Assorted Dreamable Cheeses, a miniature chocolate dipped strawberry bonsai bush, and a big bottle of Odin's Ale. After a few longful glances (he wasn't suppossed to drink on the job) Gloucester gave in and took a swig of ale. He jittered with delight as the bubbly warmth spread from his eyebrows to his arthritis-ridden kneecaps. He leaned back in his conductor's chair, bottle in hand. Ah...this was the life.

…

"Hurry kids," Mrs. Weasley yelled. "Say your goodbyes!"

Rose ran, teary eyed, into the arms of her father and mother. The crowd of gingers surrounded her, blocking out Effie. Effie frowned and ran to hug a passing stranger. The man looked confused, warily patting her on the head as he glanced around for help.

Albus stood apart, sharing some heartfelt words with his parents.

Mac and Jack were the first to break the red headed huddle.

"We must be off!" Mac said, skipping majestically across the platform. "Places to be!" He blew kisses.

"Love you always mother dearest!" Jack kissed his mother and took off running after his twin. A little ginger waved gleefully as he clung to Jack's back.

"Come back!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. "You've still got Hugo!"

The whistle sounded as the rest of the Weasley-Potter Clan clambered on. Steam was rising, and the whole platform rumbled with energy.

"Goodbye!" Rose waved.

"Have fun!" Effie shouted.

"Wait a minute," Albus said. "We're supposed to be _**on**_ the train!"

"Hurry!" Rose scrambled with her luggage into the nearest car. She turned and pulled Albus in by the scruff of his neck. Effie tucked Captain America under her arm and dove headlong into the train, knocking into the other two. They all tumbled to a heap as the door slammed shut.

"Well," said Albus as he sat up. "Seeing as that's done-"

The train jolted forward.

….

Gloucester giggled, and took another swig. So maybe he shouldn't have started the train that suddenly, but it was part of the fun! He'd had this job for fifty years, they couldn't fire him.

Looking in the security sneakascopes he saw a peculiar sight. A ginger girl, a scrawny boy and a hippie were sliding down the corridor from the sudden force of the train. A barn owl bounced blindly off the walls after them, fluttering pathetically and a demonic looking cat had its jaws clamped onto the boy's foot and was holding on for dear life as the group continued to hurdle down the freshly polished floors of the Hogwarts Express

Gloucester looked worriedly at the bottle, he then hurriedly put it back in the basket. Shaking his head, he turned back to the brass controls, just in time to look out the rear view mirror. A mad woman with bushy brown hair was running after the train...

…

"My baby!" Mrs. Weasley shrieked as she ran after the train.

The twins were dangling their little brother out of the train car window. Hugo was having the time of his life. He waved happily to his mother as she struggled to keep up with the Hogwarts Express.

"Mum, I'm goin' to Hogwarts!"

"No you're not! Relashio!"

There was a thud as Hugo flew out of his brothers' arms, and hit his mother. The twins roared with laughter.

"You two are grounded for Christmas Holidays!" Mrs. Weasley yelled after her sons as the Hogwarts Express picked up speed and chugged into the distance.

….

"Here's a car," Albus slid the door open, allowing the girls to enter first (oh, what a gentleman!). The three situated themselves, putting their trunks up and making their animals comfortable. Effie made sure that Captain America was far away from Smellycakes and Albus' owl, Hercules.

"So what part of America are you from?" Albus said as he sat down and opened his lunch. He grimaced at the lumpy sandwiches. "Why must my mother make these? She knows I hate them..."

"My dad makes them too..." Rose said as she eyed her own lunch bag. "He keeps on mumbling about passing down the pain of his childhood."

"I'm from New Orleans," Effie said, finishing her BLT.

"Did you get your wand here or there?" Rose asked.

"There," Effie dug in her pockets and extracted her wand. "Cypress, Eleven inches."

"Mine's-" Albus began.

"CANDY FROM THE TROLLEY?"

The three kiddies jumped. There stood an enormous man (or was it a woman?) wearing a frilly apron and bonnet. The children's eye's grew wide when they saw the goodies heaped on the trolley. Albus and Rose looked slowly at their sandwiches, unsure of what to do.

Effie suddenly dove across the car, seized both lumpy packages, and tossed them viciously out the window. Rose and Albus looked at her; she pointed at Captain America.

"As far as we know, he did it." She then grabbed her wallet and slid the glass door open.

In seconds, Rose and Albus had joined her. They eagerly selected pumpkin pasties, cauldron cakes, and fizzing whizzbangs, paying the tranny before sliding back into their compartment.

"Excellent!" Albus said, his mouth half full of pasty. Rose on the other hand gingerly opened a cauldron cake and took a small bite cautiously.

"What's wrong?" Effie asked curiously.

"She's never disobeyed mummy and daddy before." Came two voices from the door. Mac and Jack hopped into the car, sitting on either side of their sister.

"I have so!" Rose said, turning red and hurriedly taking another bite of cauldron cake.

"I'm just glad-" Albus never got to finish his sentence. The glass door slid open with a bang and a tearful, plump, pretty girl with honey colored hair in neat pigtails tumbled in, straight onto Albus.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" She whimpered, rubbing her eyes as she frantically got to her feet.

"No," Albus said as he helped the poor girl up. "What's the matter?"

"Where you headed in such a rush Longbottom?" drawled a voice from the doorway. There stood the boy Rose had seen earlier.

"You're a Malfoy," she said with narrowed eyes.

He looked at her for a moment. Crossing his arms and surveyed his new adversary. "You're the weasel girl my dad talked about." He lifted his eyebrows, bemused. "Shorter than I expected."

Rose went red in the ears.

"You found her Malfoy?" a voice called from the corridor. A gaggle of boys came to the door. There was a chubby boy with chestnut hair that was slicked ridiculously forward into a single Zefron-style (if you haven't seen Hairspray, you should). He was followed by a sleek taller boy with a clever face and Mediterranean complexion. The rear was brought up by a lumbering hunk of meat with close set eyes and a confused expression on his face.

"Bugger off Malfoy," said Mac, standing.

"Yeah, leave her alone." Jack had drawn his wand.

The boys in the doorway looked a little nervous, not having noticed the upperclassmen before. Scorpius on the other hand looked amused.

"Why? It's a free country." He shrugged.

"Actually," said Effie standing up. "That would be-"

"Shut up American!" Everyone yelled.

"And why the sudden wand drawing?" Scorpius said. "Isn't that against the rules?"

"Right to bear arms," Jack sneered in retort.

"Actually," Efiie intervened. "We came up with-"

"Shut up American!"

Effie hung her head sadly.

"Scorpius," Albus stood up and spoke in a calm voice. "I think its best you and your friends went back to your compartment."

Scorpius paused, staring at Albus for a moment. He gave a curt nod and left. His friends looked confused and followed. Albus Sighed and slid the door shut.

"What was that all about?" Effie looked at Albus.

"Well," said Mac. "You see, years ago Al's dad saved old Malfoy's dad's a-"

"Language?" Rose said.

"Behind," said Jack rolling his eyes. "So Scorpius probably has a weird hate/respect complex towards Al."

"Speaking of which," Mac elbowed Rose in the side teasingly. "Did I sense some romantic tension between you and ferret-face?"

Mac and Jack were soon dashing out of the compartment, dodging a hailstorm of cauldron cakes.

"What's your name?" Albus said, trying to cheer the new girl up.

"Laurie," She hiccupped shyly. "Laurie Longbottom."

The others introduced themselves and Albus stood and grabbed his bag.

"Might as well go change," He eyed Effie. "Especially you."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" She said defensively.

"You look like someone from Godspell."

"So?"

"Hey who's kitty is this?"

"No! Laurie don't!"

"Agh! My leg!"

…..

Moolie: See that wasn't so bad….was it?

Aggie: *Continues to bang head*

Ginny: Stop it dear, you're losing brain cells.


End file.
